Honor & Dignity

After a brain aneurism, heart and lung failures; a World War II and Korean War veteran could only communicate by writing his questions and short responses.  In his last communication to his loved ones, he struggled to say something very important, but he could not be understood.  He was given a pen and paper, and he wrote “Bon Appetite”.
 
He was acknowledging that we could continue to enjoy life even as he was aware he was facing his last few hours.  Even so, it was a peaceful passing and he knew he was loved. Thanks to the palliative care team and other folks at Providence Tarzana Medical Center for their kind care.

May each of us have such caring people around us when we enter our final sleep.

Read on for a tribute to this man.

My Old Man in the Sea, painting by Beth Summers
My old man in the sea, eternity for thee.
The swirl of tempests tossed
Be calmed.

Let the vortex carry you home.
Let the winds of heaven cool your brow.
Let go and let God invite
you
to become.
 
Witness in the clouds
Lift your voice, oh Hallelujah!
By Loren R. Acuña

Richard Monroe Summers

Born: October 12, 1924                           Died: February 8, 2014

Indiana boy.  Corn fed and full of Christmas wonder.  Born just before the Great Depression; World War II dominated his teen years. As soon as he could, he jumped on a ship bound for the Pacific Theatre in World War II, serving from 1943 to 1946.

Leaving Indiana as a boy Marine, he returned a man of battle; full of soldier songs. Settling in California, he studied at UCLA.  Then his father called from out of the blue. He needed help in his business. So Richard expanded the sales route for the poultry and eggs raised at his father's turkey farm in Southern California.  

A man of duty, he re-enlisted in 1952 to serve in the Korean War; serving until he was disabled in 1953.  He picked up skills in radio repair, basic engineering and learned German.  Putting these together with his naturally likeable personality, he worked hard and became a National Sales Manager with a large electronics distributor. Travelling often to Germany for large European accounts during the 1960's and early 1970's.

Naturally curious and always a learner, Richard loved to explore and stay active.  He was a member of the Sierra Club and liked backpacking, hiking, and cross-country skiing.  His interests in psychology, astronomy, folk dancing, acting and mystery books kept his alert mind engaged.  And singing! He loved to use his beautiful voice to offer cheery comfort, even when he was ill. He sang with the Valley Master Chorale, Knollwood Methodist Church Choir and Northridge United Methodist Choir. After retirement, he found time to seek roles as an extra in movies, like “The Majestic”. He said he liked the buffets.

During his 31 year marriage to Beth, they both found happiness together. Through earthquakes, fires, and cancer, Richard on the look-out for fun, found new places to explore.  Richard and Beth travelled extensively every year of their marriage.  From local trips to Pismo Beach  and backpacking in the High Sierras to China, Africa, South America, Russia, and so many more.  From Indiana to the world over.  Richard is now off to his next adventure in the New Heavens.

 

For Richard, we who knew you carry your indomitable spirit as your legacy to us.

Later!

 

Beginning With The End In Mind

As the New Year starts, we re-fresh, re-boot, and re-new ourselves. We make goals and resolutions. We extend ourselves to new ventures or into new directions.

Winter is also a time of year we see more elderly friends and clients suffering from life-threatening illnesses. We may find ourselves wondering if they have talked with someone about their end of life wishes. In our society this is a taboo topic.

It's a topic that raises our fears. It's a topic that changes as health needs change. It's a topic that involves medical technology – how it helps and hinders us. It's also a topic that highlights our personal beliefs and values. What does “quality of life” mean to you?

Having meaningful conversations with my clients about their values and wishes is a vital part of my work as a fiduciary. Over the past few years, there has been a lot of discussion about how medical technology increases the costs of health care while extending life expectancy. While the many options available for health care today offers a life-giving blessing for many, sometimes it also puts us at odds with our values and the quality of life we would want.

Here's a new opportunity for a new direction in the new year.

The Conversation Project is on it's way to Contra Costa County in 2014. Community leaders are brainstorming ways to highlight the importance of talking about what matters with our families. You can be part of this movement. Just by listening in, you can become more in tune with ways to talk about the difficult topic of death. Learn to face and how to raise the issue in order to choose the quality of our life, even in illness.

The Conversation Project guides people through considering end of life wishes and talking with significant people about them. The Conversation Project is a nationwide movement to encourage people to discuss their end of life wishes with their doctor and loved ones. It's important.

Interested?

Check the website for The Conversation Project. Let me know and I'll give you advance notice of the symposium planned for Contra Costa County this year.

In 2014 listen up and starting talking.

A Nelson Mandela Kind of Christmas

Angels We Have Heard On High

Just there, in the next room; as if a friend has just arrived, oh Elysium! We can just barely hear the music of Love's voice. If we could only see it!    Inspired by the poetry of Emily Dickinson

“We live by faith, not by sight.”     Paul of Tarsus, Early First Century Letter to Christians in Corinth
 

“What we know of the world is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you only could see how close I am to you.....” Sarah Young, “Jesus Calling”, December 12^th


Sometimes we talk of the magic of Christmas as if it is like pixie dust sprinkled in the air which makes us all generous, kind-hearted, and jolly; even sometimes against our will.

One of the definitions of magic is “the art of producing illusions by sleight of hand”. In other words tricking your eyes to think something impossible has occurred. Another definition of magic is “the use of charms or spells believed to have supernatural power.”

When we speak of the magic of Christmas we have in mind something else entirely. We are actually referring to a sense that the world really is a better place after all. Even if just for one single, silent night. We also speak of the magic of Christmas with wistfulness - Wishing for Peace on Earth.

What makes the world a better place? I hope it is something much better and more real than magic.

We all know by now that the one with the most toys at the end of life is NOT the winner. Don't get me wrong, toys are fun. Fun is good! But, when we think of a better world, we are also thinking of our better selves. Instead of trickery or some artificial jolliness dressed up in red and white, I wish for a world full of Nelson Mandelas.

We know deep in the recesses of our hearts that when we offer our best self to the world; the self that offers forgiveness to our enemies. Our best self sets aside what we want long enough to hear the cries of the hearts of those around us; then the magic of Christmas is real.

Because He was born. 
Because He loves. 
Because His promises are sure. 
A Merry Christmas Throughout This World!

Take Inventory! Take Photos! Take Action!

Guest Blog, written by Karen Fisher, Professional Fiduciary, www.bishopfiduciary.com

Tangible personal property is one asset class many clients don’t spend a lot time managing during their lifetime.   With some thoughtful planning, potential problems can be averted when it comes time to settle their estates.

For example, in one particular estate, the decedent owned many books.  The books had not been appraised when the spouse died years earlier.  When the surviving spouse passed away the books were to be divided equally among the siblings, but they began to fight over them.  I invited a book appraiser to look at the collection. It turned out there were many books important to California history and worth 50 times the initial estimated valuation.

The siblings agreed to donate the books to libraries specializing in California history.  Had the client known of the significance of the books, she might have made a different decision in her estate plan, thereby reducing family turmoil during the estate settlement process. 

Not all personal property will turn out to have significant value.  As baby boomers begin to retire and downsize, there is a glut of used furniture and other household items.  Many thrift and consignment shops are at capacity. 

One way to actively manage tangible personal property is to take a current inventory and record it in a journal indicating the location of any items not on site (such as jewelry located in a safe deposit box at a financial institution).   When items are sold or gifted or, when additional items are purchased, the journal can be updated.  Keeping current on an inventory has several advantages.  One, it assists the client in decision making when they are preparing their Will or Trust.  They can readily view the journal and decide how they want to divide up their property.  Two, for clients who have already created their Trusts or Will, they can use the inventory to update their plans. 

After creating an inventory, consider obtaining an estate valuation of the value of the personal property.  Many people have an unrealistic idea of the value of their assets, either they assume a very high value, or they don’t realize the worth of some items.  An inventory and realistic valuation can assist in gifting decisions.  

As professional fiduciaries work with older clients, we can help reduce potential conflict later by taking inventory; taking photos with notes; and encouraging clients to take action by seek appraisals or indications of value from experts.