In Like A Lamb, Out Like A Lion

How does a fiduciary turn an elderly client’s non-liquid, non-investable estate into over $700,000 investable or usable assets? 

My client was referred by the in-home care provider because she had no nearby health agent and was having difficulty paying her bills. Her only daughter lived across the country and suffers from anxiety disorders.

We started out like a lamb. The elderly woman needed help and protection. I did not know how much help until I started working with her. The first steps were to get to know her and help organize and secure her important papers. She was convinced that someone snuck into her Rossmoor condo and moved or took papers.

As I worked with her to understand her financial situation and begin paying her bills, she shared with me a concern that weighed on her. She felt an insurance agent had taken advantage of her. Naturally, I was concerned. She had never talked with an attorney about it and this had occurred many years ago. I wanted to review the insurance policies and paperwork before jumping to conclusions.

It took time to locate and gather all the pertinent paperwork because the client is an information hoarder. She loves to keep old newspaper articles, magazines and statements in stacks and stacks all over her condo. There was room for paramedics to enter, so I decided we would take it at her pace to locate what was needed as we worked together to unravel her financial picture. She took pride in the steps we took together to organize her papers.

When I finished gathering paperwork, my spreadsheet revealed 16 insurance or annuity policies totaling over $800,000 in premiums paid. Many were policies issued through a 1035 exchange or other policies cashed out. Determining how much new money had been placed into these policies was daunting. It would have been impossible for my client to gather and organize this information to discuss clearly with an interested attorney.

It was very clear that a single agent and their partner had churned the policies and oversold an elderly woman with very little income or assets, purely for the lucrative up-front commissions paid.

In comes the lioness side of my work. Once I had the paper trail, I began to aggressively search for an attorney qualified to handle the potential litigation against the agents and the insurance companies; combined with the complexity of having the Power of Attorney pursue the claims against these entities. This took persistence. Most attorneys I spoke with did not have the right amount of experience with insurance companies or in some other way disqualified themselves.

I was not willing to let it go. Diligence and persistence paid off for my client. Through a series of steps taken this past year, including pursuing the insurance companies, my client now has enough in liquid, investable assets to serve her needs for the remainder of her lifetime. She is living in a memory care facility near her daughter and granddaughter. She can enjoy this time of her life without the worry that was nagging at her when I first met her.  A happy ending to the story of "In Like A Lamb, Out Like A Lion" could be available to you or your clients.

If you or your client needs a fiduciary who knows how to come in like a lamb, but go after your needs like a lion, please call (925) 906-1882 for a free initial consultation.

Tips To Start "The Talk"

Myth or Reality?  I will pass away suddenly in my sleep, with no need for medical intervention.
REALITY: Only 10% of us die suddenly, 90% of us will experience some type of medical intervention.


Myth or Reality?  I will be able to tell people what I want until the day I die.
REALITY:  Over 40% of us will die with some type of dementia.


Myth or Reality?  Most people have a current Advanced Health Care Directive naming a suitable person and have talked with their family, loved ones or agent about their wishes.
REALITY: In a 2011 survey, 82% of Californians stated they thought it extremely important to have their end of life wishes in writing, only 23% actually had a written document.


Myth or Reality? My doctor knows what I want and will choose the right thing for me.
REALITY: Doctors will not decide for you. Nurses cannot decide for you. Only your agent can decide if you are not able to make informed consent.


Death is not considered a pleasant or polite topic of conversation. The humorist, Roz Chast, has received a lot of attention for a graphic novel titled, "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?"  Things that make us uncomfortable are also often funny.  After the laughter stops, we realize we need to start that conversation.  The best gift we can give someone is a meaningful conversation.
We often know it's important but don't know how to start the conversation. What follows are some tips offered by a professional fiduciary who has many of these conversations with her clients.

If you are the one who wants to talk about your own wishes:

• Do some personal reflection about your own values, wishes, thoughts, and feelings about death and dying.

• Realize that your values do not have to be like other people’s. In fact, the values we hold dear are what help make us unique and interesting people. It’s o.k. if you value something different.

• We get what we think about in life. To have a joyfully wise 5^th Chapter, know what you want and imagine life "as if" you are experiencing the positive outcome you want rather than wasting time thinking about what you don’t like or want.

• Tell your family you went to a seminar that discussed The Conversation Project. Let your family know you want to make it easier on them, when the time comes, and that you have an Advanced Health Care Directive to reduce chaos and confusion.

• Once you have selected an agent, share some of your concerns or thoughts about what matters most to you with that person. A conversation is meaningful and a legal document provides authority and guidance to your named agent.

If you are the one who wants to talk about someone else’s wishes:

• Do some personal reflection about your own values, wishes, thoughts, and feelings about death and dying.

• Tell your family you went to a seminar that discussed The Conversation Project and it brought up some interesting questions you would like to discuss.

• Tell a story about someone who experienced some problems when not planning for and putting in place a document to name an agent.

• Remember, this is most likely a conversation that will be re-visited so kind and loving conversation will pave the way for future conversations.

• Ask your loved one if they sometimes think about death or dying and what would they want if they were facing that moment.

• Express an interest in understanding how their values, wishes and beliefs can be honored if they are incapacitated.

• Call on a Family Council Moderator to help the whole family navigate this topic if there are conflicts brewing or you find it difficult to bring up sensitive topics together.  If you would like more information about Family Council Moderator services, please call The ACE Fiduciary Group.

The 12 Days of Christmas

When our kids were little, we celebrated the Twelve Days of Christmas by picking a different character in the Christmas story for each night: Mary, Joseph, the angels, Herod, the Magi, the shepherds, Anna, Simeon, Elizabeth, Zechariah, John the Baptist, and Jesus.  There were presents many nights; food and games were planned to go with the character (i.e. honey and “locusts” for John the Baptist or hide and seek for Herod).  This tradition started many interesting conversations about faith and the real people who were part of bringing the joy of Christmas to the world.

It was fun……..and……..exhausting.

What started out as one of Mom's crazy ideas became an annual tradition. Each year, we would add some new twist or fun. By the time Epiphany arrived, it felt like Christmas had been going on all year. Kind of like our current home remodel project.

 

Each day I come home to see some new bit added.  It's a lot like opening a new present every day.  It also feels like the 12 Days of Christmas going on and on and on. I am ready for the New Year!

But I also kind of miss the “good 'ol days”.  I miss the way the girls woke us up really early on Christmas morning, after only a few hours sleep because we spent all night wrapping presents. I miss having to keep the Santa wrapping paper different from the other presents. Right now, I miss my bedroom.

 

Even when I miss what we used to do at Christmas, I know that if I hold too tightly onto the “good 'ol days” I might miss the absolutely amazing gift waiting for me right now.  

Families change; kids grow up; special people are no longer with us during the holidays; but Christmas is about God entering our world in a mysterious way at a particular time in history to make things new, to make love real. A baby in a manger came to remind each of us how much God loves us, every day, all year long.

  

So no matter what holiday traditions you celebrate, take a moment away from the tinsel and fake snow to breathe in a moment of real joy and peace – to celebrate God's presence all around, here and now.

  

To each of you, may you experience Peach on Earth in the coming year. 

Homeless on Halloween - A Cold Night, A Scary Place To Be

Last night my feet were so cold it took me all the way through my morning cup of coffee to warm up. My dogs and I are spending a lot of time on the bench outside Peets Coffee & Tea these days. I have been homeless for the past month. Yes, this has been by choice. 

No shower; cold nights; carrying my stuff from place to place; keeping dogs fed and safe; and earning money. How do the 44% of the over 1.7 million homeless in our country manage to earn money and keep the basic necessities going? Or how do the 25% of the homeless who hold down a regular job do it? It’s hard to find a free shower.

I am blessed. I am living out of a suitcase in a temporary tent trailer by choice but I have a home to return to when the remodel dust settles. I am blessed. I have a car to hold my stuff and carry my dogs around. I am blessed. I chose this and it is temporary. Really honey, this remodel project can’t go on much longer, can it?

During this past month, this small glimpse into the lifestyle of the homeless in our country has really opened my heart to the difficulty they face. I have often assumed that people I see staying on the city streets are either in a drug/alcohol haze or mentally unhinged and prefer to live without a place to call their own.

In fact, only 6% of the homeless suffer from a severe mental disorder that requires institutionalized care. Don’t get me wrong, a majority of those who are homeless (66%) do suffer from alcohol, drug abuse or mental illness, but there are also a lot of folks just trying to survive. 

Without a place to call your own, you start to feel disoriented and stressed about where to find such basic needs as a toilet or a free shower or a warm place to spend a few hours (the laundromat at the end of the evening is a good choice).
Many are homeless because of domestic violence. Or they are Vets who can’t find work. Or they are families who just could not find or keep a job that would provide enough for rent. According to Statistic Brain, http://www.statisticbrain.com/homelessness-stats/, there were over 6,000 families with kids staying in nightly shelters in New York City in 2014. Each big city in our country has similar statistics and 36% of the homeless are families with children.
It takes at least 2- 3 years waiting for a Section 8 affordable rental apartment or rental house. What do they do for those years? Where do the live?

Some choose to save resources and live out of a car for a while. Others drift from shelter to shelter. Most shelters are filled to capacity each night. Most shelters are first come, first serve.
The nights are getting cold. My toes can tell you about it.
For the growing number of elderly who are living on Social Security and food stamps, it could be difficult to find adequate housing. According to statistics reported by the Homeless Research Institute, April 2010, "Researchers studying the street homeless population in San Francisco found that from the period 1990–1994 to 2000–2002, the representation of those ages 50 and over went progressively from 11.2 percent to 32.3 percent." The State of California has predicted at least a 150% increase in our elderly population in most counties from 1990 - 2020. This means we are now seeing an even higher number of homeless elderly than the study cited above.


We could fix this problem, today.

  - If states with a large percentage of manufactured homes provided incentives for seniors and working adults to buy or rent a mobile home, these families could live in a heated shelter for much less than it costs to build low-income apartment housing in high-crime urban areas. It costs, on average, $40,000 for a newer single wide mobile home. It could be as little as $20,000 to buy an older home and refurbish. For $20,000 per homeless family or elderly person, we could keep them from freezing in the streets at night.

  - If the federal government provided assistance to insulate these homes and install solar energy wherever possible; the over 9 million mobile homes in the U.S. could easily accommodate the 1.7 million homeless and reduce the energy costs to heat these homes.
  - Ask your representative what we can do to help alleviate the problem of homelessness in this country. Ask them to talk to people who are already doing something about it but have not been included in the discussion, mobile home park owners. It’s not that hard. It’s just takes empathy.

  - While we wait, and wait, for the government to help, let's take action. I urge you to give thanks for your own home this year, by giving funds to the Bay Area Rescue Mission or other shelters in your community. Help some folks have a warm night while they work to get back to a place they can call their own.