At the time, I didn't really understand the tears. I mean, I had a good time and all, but I was kind of happy to be going back to my own home. Back to where I didn't have to be quite so quiet, or quite so polite, or follow some new set of rules; back to my comfortable routine.
As my daughters and all the family & friends left yesterday, I experienced the oddest contrast in emotions. On the one hand, there is the misty eyed, missing them already kind of love. On the other hand, there is a sense of relief. Now, I can go back to my routine and clean house. Did I just say that?
After the family left, the routines started up again. Oh, those comforting routines. But wait, it's so quiet here today. I'm kind of restless, looking for my mom to walk with or my daughter to talk with or my friends to play with. Hey, where did everybody go?? Did my grandparents or mom experience that dual sense of gratitude for family and for the comfort in the daily routine?
There is comfort in knowing that you have offered your best and highest love to others. Families offer many opportunities to experience and give love, joy, loyalty, and a sense of belonging as well as so many other positives. But, you have to admit, families also bring in their stuff, their wishes and their drama or chaos. Just being with family can push us out of our comfort zones. Sometimes love feels more like fighting a wave to swim to the other side.
Remember those “Love Is ….” cartoons? Love involves small gifts of self: pushing back the irritations; finding something the other person likes to eat; spending time listening; offering advice only when asked; playing a game the other person wants to play; turning up the heat, even when you don't want to; and, every so often in a glittering moment we get to share from our hearts and connect with someone else. There are numerous ways to offer love and most of us try our best to do so during the season of remembering Christ's birth.
Now Christmas is over. Routines set in. Most of what we remember about others often boils down to “How did we start?” or the little habits we notice or leave-takings. What goes on the middle is sometimes a mixture of love and discomfort. And you always wonder . . . . did they hear your love or your discomfort more?
Some of us are taking leave of our families heading off into our own lives and homes – like my daughters, others are returning home after a visit and settling into known comforts; and, some are preparing to leave this world due to an illness: they are wondering what is really beyond - not wanting to leave behind the comfort of the known. How we finish our lives and take our leave is often most remembered. Today, I prefer the chaos and discomfort of love. I hope, in the end, that Love wins out. Imagine, Christmas everyday and no diets!
Click here to read an excerpt of a book coming soon, Afterword, by Loren R. Acuna. The book is inspired by C.S. Lewis and George Macdonald's allegorical, imaginative fiction.
