Cashing In The Chips

The email below from my dad, with the subject line: "Cashing In The Chips" arrived in my inbox after I had learned that he had suffered a major heart attack and died on Sunday, September 23, 2012.  He was only 76 years old and a kind-hearted, creative, one of a kind guy.  When someone you love passes away, there are scenes that replay in your mind you wish you could do again or share with the person who is gone.  You also want to tell people about them.  I want to use his last email as a way to warn you. Please read-on.

My dad was unusual during the “Leave It To Beaver” days of stay-at-home moms.  He was the “at-home” parent while my mom worked as I grew up.  He would often make me lunch of ham & cheese sandwich with Miracle Whip and Campbell’s Tomato Soup (now Miracle Whip never darkens my refrigerator door, but as a kid I liked it).

He always encouraged me to go outside to get some Vitamin D when I was sick.  He seemed to like unconventional cures over medicine. He thought he needed to encourage balance in my life so he told me he only wanted me to get “A” grades in Physical Education. All other subjects I did well, but I think he wanted me to remember to enjoy being alive.

I could share more (and no doubt will at his memorial service later this week).  For now, I want to share his last email to me.  I think his cholesterol was high for a number of years but he had lost weight and thought he had a clean bill of health just a few months prior.  This is how he felt the day before he died.  He had no other warnings or heart problems prior.  My dad was gone before the ambulance reached the hospital. 

IF YOU EXPERIENCE THESE TYPES OF SYMPTOMS – GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IMMEDIATELY AND TELL THEM YOU THINK IT IS A HEART ATTACK!!!!

 

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Date: Sunday, September 23, 2012, 8:23 am

From: Bill Rogers

Subject Line: Cashing In The Chips

HI,

God REALLY ANSWERED OUR PRAYER LAST NIGHT...Saturday, 9/22. This kid almost cashed in his “chips”. How? It had been happening for about two days. I have/had high blood pressure. But I lost 22 lbs, and the blood pressure went down to normal. So, all was well and good. Then, I went to the grocery store, Friday, and some guy came up behind me in line talking about shooting birds, and his cat eating one a day.  I was feeling very angry at him and in myself. But, I said nothing to the guy.  I simply thought someone had wrapped my chest and arms in a very tight cloth.

 Then, yesterday, Saturday I started to get the same feeling in my chest. I took some aspirin, and a couple other pills, and it got worse. I went to bed but tossed and turned. Donna is SUCH a great helper. She knows exactly what to do. We tested my blood pressure and it was 195/ (something). WAAAAAY to high. I could not go to sleep. My chest and body kept aching. So, about 4 AM I got up and Donna found some blood-pressure pills that I had forgotten about. I took one and then did go to sleep. I awoke TIRED, but the blood pressure reading is now 130/87/96. I will rest today. We have to find out what caused it to zoom up. WHEW...DO NOT WANT THAT FEELING AGAIN!!!!

Talk with you later.

Love and hugs,

Why I Walk To The End

I am a finisher. I love to check things off my "To Do" list. Here's a secret. Sometimes, just for the fun of checking it off, I’ll put something on my list that I am just about to complete. A little "yeah, me!" It works to motivate me to keep up the effort. 

The idea that we can uncover a way to prevent or even reverse the symptoms of Alzheimer’s is so tantalizing, but not yet close enough to check off our list. For a finisher like me, advances in understanding or developing a cure for this disease makes me jump for joy.  Join our team to donate or walk together on October 6, 2012.

Why It's Personal

From my grandfather I learned to stash my candy hoard and to look for treasures in unlikely places. My grandfather must have started showing signs of early Alzheimer’s when I was a young child. He was in his early 60's and seemed to veer off into his own world a little bit more each time I would see him. I remember him to be a little bit grouchy. Sometimes he would tease me but mostly he kept to himself. As a child, I was intrigued when I learned he hid a stash of peanut brittle in his office of piled up books and papers. Of course, I had to sneak in to look for his stash. I only found it once and never again!

Both of my grandparents were professors at a small, Christian college in Texas: Abilene Christian University. When they retired, my grandmother taught in Puerto Rico while my grandfather sent letters and resumes for a job he would not find. Later, my grandmother was honored by the American Association of University Women. She gave a speech and the picture of her proud and happy smile is still with me. Later that same evening, my grandfather wandered off into downtown San Diego. Was he looking for his own past glory days? By that time, it was clear he could not be trusted to care for himself.

My grandmother cared for him while Parkinson’s and osteoporosis weighed her down with the effects of these disease. She put up with her husband’s outbursts, wanderings and "games" with little jokes and smoothing over his deficiencies. Her mind was sharp until the end. She loved him and did not want to live apart from him, even when their church asked her not to bring him as "he disturbed other people".

Watching him decline and the toll it took on my grandmother, my uncle, and our family, I wondered how someone with so much mental ability could not remember his own address. Now, as I work with clients who have lost brain function, I have a better understanding. We all have a primal need to both care for ourselves and to be cared for, even as mental capacity slowly slips away.

Living A Legacy

My grandfather lived inside a world of his own making but he had a supportive family around him, even if he did not remember who they were. When there is no suitable family nearby, wisdom says, search out someone trust worthy to handle what you cannot do for yourself any longer, while you still have the choice. This is one way to care for ourselves and protect the legacy we will leave behind.

Someday, there will be a cure or a way to halt the effects of Alzheimer’s Disease. We seem so close. Until then I will continue to Walk To The End. This is one way I am living my legacy; today for a future I may not see, but which I hope will be. 

Join our team. Let’s walk together in body or in spirit on October 6, 2012.

Joy Invites Practice: Practice Makes Perfect - (10)

Ok, I know they don’t use the simple 1through 10 score cards in the Olympics anymore, but it’s so much easier than the current system to convey a really great performance. What fun to watch the women’s USA gymnastics team do so well together and individually. Or, to watch the tenacious women’s USA beach volleyball team of Walsh & May-Treanor. Two mommies who would eat sand to secure a win. The joy of playing a sport often calls athletes to a higher level because they enjoy the practice!

Professional fiduciaries don’t have anything like Olympic events. We take on cases where there is no suitable family or friends or when someone plans a large gift to a charitable cause. Often the situations presented provide the barest details. We must weigh the risks and choose whether to take the plunge. Sometimes these situations include those like one a professional fiduciary described recently - if there was a Fiduciary Olympics, this would rate in the highest difficulty.

Fiduciary Olympics - Highest Difficulty Rating
The public guardian needed a professional fiduciary to step in when an elderly woman’s drug addicted son was accused of elder financial abuse and her bi-polar daughter lived far away. The professional fiduciary agreed to step in so the woman could be moved to an assisted living facility; the son moved out; and, the home cleaned and sold to care for the woman. The fiduciary described entering the home with goggles, breathing mask, gloves and removable booties to avoid infection from rat feces and old food found in the place.

The elderly woman needed help that neither the state nor her children could give her. Not all of our cases are so difficult, but when we are presented with a situation, it is our duty to ourselves and to the people we serve to determine if we can "go the distance". Do we have the same perseverance that the Olympic athletes have? Do we have adequate training, appropriate experience and the intestinal fortitude to do the work? Do fiduciaries receive extensive training, preparation and refining like athletes who train for a "Big Event".

Athletes don’t just learn about their game: they practice; they do warm-up drills; they watch other great athletes; they learn from each other; they have coaches that encourage or guide them; and they practice a lot.

Fiduciary Training
The State of California requires individuals seeking a license as a Professional Fiduciary to have a certain level of education and experience. The course of required education covers the laws, ethics, practical considerations, reporting & accounting requirements; and, asset management among many other topics. The purpose of these courses is to promote the level of knowledge required to evaluate and handle the many possible situations that arise when serving as a fiduciary.

In addition, professional fiduciaries are required to have a certain number of hours of continuing education each and every year. There are few better ways to receive this education than by joining the Professional Fiduciaries Association of California and attending the annual and regional education offered by this organization. This is much more education than a family member, friend or even a non-licensed CPA will have about closing out an estate. It’s probably more education than most people would ever dream is required by the situations we encounter.

Still, it seems like we can always use more training and preparation. Like the warm-up drills or the team practices of athletes, we can seek ways to regularly sharpen our skills. A professional fiduciary is brought in to evaluate, make decisions and take action. To do this we must exercise good judgement, informed by experts in their field of practice. We bring together many different professionals to get a job done right.

Since our "stock & trade" is making good decisions about difficult situations and properly communicating with the parties involved, it is helpful to regularly "try on" how we would handle a sticky situation before we are faced with the choice. This can be gleaned from informal conversations with professionals, such as attorneys or other experienced fiduciaries. While helpful, this method is a little bit like sitting in the passenger seat on the way to a destination, then being asked to drive back on the way home. Our attention is so much more acute when we are in the driver’s seat, isn’t it?

Warm-Up Drills
Another way to sharpen our decision-making abilities is to use quick mental warm-ups to stimulate our thinking. The ACE Fiduciary Group posts an occasional poll question to fiduciaries and other professionals engaged in this work. The poll question is like some of the on-line games that offer "increased mental acuity". The questions are designed to be simple, but the answers are rarely simplistic. We do this to sharpen our thinking about areas we commonly encounter but which have no obvious correct answer.

You can participate by clicking here. The current poll will close on August 16, 2012, although this link will always bring you to our current poll topic. If you are interested in the results and some feedback about this topic, sign-up for our emails as we will post the results to those who receive our occasional, informative email blasts.

Remember, fiduciaries cannot and do not give legal advice. We are doers rather than advisors.

Valuing "The Stuff"

          Your Uncle Harry loved classic cars. He even had a few in his garage.  Or maybe your Aunt Sadie collected Hummel figures or carousel horses.  Most of us have something we like to collect. Occasionally these collections actually increase in value over time. Many times our collections are not easy to value except by other collectors. You can bet that someone in the family will think those Hummel figures are worth a lot more than they will bring in an estate sale, but at how much more work to you to sell? Once you have your inventory list, pictures and information about the items to be sold, you’ll want to call in some experts to provide you with a value.  The method of valuation depends on whether the estate is facing litigation or is large enough to file a special type of tax return, the Gift & Estate Tax return.
 
            When conflict is brewing over an estate or if the estate will require a Gift & Estate Tax return (IRS form 706) you’ll want to obtain written values from qualified appraisers.  When there is no conflict between beneficiaries or estate values do not need to be “proven” to a court or the IRS, you can often save some expense by obtaining more informal valuations.  Caution: Do not assume you can use the more informal approach to valuations. Check with your attorney and tax advisor to determine what type of valuation will be required for your situation. 

You’ll find a chart of typical items held in an estate and the manner of valuation you’ll need to use to document the estate asset values on our website click here. Some types of items are more difficult to value.  For example that 1963 Split Window Red Corvette classic car or “Trailer Queen” in Uncle Harry’s garage will need an enthusiast to provide an estimated value.

The initial valuation is crucial when preparing reports to the court or to beneficiaries. Look for an announcement of our upcoming workshop “How to Close An Estate and Not Be the Turkey at the Family Thanksgiving Dinner.”  This workshop style class helps non-professionals named as an Executor or Trustee to wade through the requirements and steps to handling an estate. We’ll cover typical steps required, red flags, and an overview of the required reporting; all designed to help keep you out of the hot water. If you are interested in attending this workshop, let me know so we can send you the future details. For now, take a look at the valuation chart on our website to get an idea of how to get started obtaining proper valuations.

By the way, if you want to see some cool classic cars, look for us at the Hot Summer Nights, Danville Car Show on August 16th, 2012.  We don’t have a refurbished 1963 Split Window Red Corvette to show off but I know my husband will be drooling over any he sees at the show.  Shh! Don't tell me about the one you have to sell from Uncle Harry's garage.