The Talk, Part II

        Not long after my mother visited us, my daughter said, "so let’s have 'The Talk' tonight".   I laughed because I don’t see the need to talk about my own aging yet.  No siree!   It seems a little premature.  I am still a spring chicken....aren’t I?

        But my daughter likes to have plans in place.  I tried to explain that we really didn’t need to have that talk yet.  Still she persisted.  So, she pushed me to imagine what sort of life I might have when I am in my 70's and beyond.  I also asked her what she imagined for that far distant future time.

        From that conversation, I heard her care and love for me. I also heard myself say some common things we hear older people say.

        “I want to live in my home as long as I can.  I even prefer remodeling my home to accommodate someone living in it so someone can live here and help me care for the home (not me of course).”

        “I want to live near both my children, but I don’t really want to live with either of them. This is both because I don’t want to be dependent on them and because I imagine too many control issues. Plus, I would much rather be helpful than a burden.”
      
        “If I have to have nursing care, or I get too lonely (after my husband passes away) I might consider living in an assisted living facility.  But it can’t smell bad and it needs to be pretty with a view of nature or something.  I like the ones that let you move from no help,  to a little housekeeping, to a bit more help, and eventually into a skilled nursing unit in the same complex, if you need one.”

        “It’s pretty hard to imagine being able to afford any help at all, and it is difficult to imagine living on what we have saved so far.  So, in the long run, I would rather live with one of my kids than on the street.”

        There, I said the unthinkable for our culture and generation. I would rather live with my kids than have a crummy and unsafe old age life.  For some cultures, this is expected.  For others, we abhor the idea of cramming three generations into one suburban house.  Given the statistics on the Baby Boomers savings (or lack of it) and life expectancy (longer than ever), we will be facing some choices that none of like to ponder.  Maybe my daughter was right to talk to me now....where is that long term care insurance plan my agent sent over to me?

Share your thoughts on Long Term Care Insurance or your plans for a joyful wise old season of life.